| | For once, I know I made the right decision.
Friday was a marginally good day--starting sluggishly, peaking around
mid-afternoon (in terms of both mood and productivity), and crashing in
the evening. Yesterday was a bad day, as was today.
Last night I went to bed at 11, woke up at 8:30, read fifty pages in my
book, then dozed off again and slept until TWO IN THE
AFTERNOON. Wtf? I haven't done anything like that
since I was at school, and the past few weeks have seen me consistently
waking up at 7:30 or 8 every morning.
I spent most of the rest of the day (what little there was left) on the
floor, somewhere between sleep and wakefulness, as is the norm on these
sorts of days. Around 8 I wandered over to Barnes & Noble, as
I'd run out of things to read. I flipped through two magazines
and, just as the store was closing, bought three new books (which I most certainly don't have the money for) because having books makes me happy.
Fifteen hundred miles away at Harvey Mudd College, the dorms opened
this morning, and classes start Tuesday. Earlier this afternoon I
imagined myself there, feeling as crummy as I do now, but with a whole
semester of hard work, an inflexible schedule, and a steady stream of
deadlines looming. From a start like this, things could only go
downhill. I would be miserable.
Despite all the angst I've put myself through over not being able to be back at Mudd this semester, I am so glad
I made the decision to stay here. For once in my life, I've made
a prescient, mature decision and staved off what would surely have been
a disastrous waste of time and money, not to mention a heavy blow to my
self-esteem and joie de vivre.
Now I have only to get down to the business of actually solving the
problems that would have made my return to school miserable.
After all, I can't hide from college forever. And I don't plan
to--yesterday I got my letter of admission to HBU,
and I'll be registering for classes on Friday. I also started
teaching a new SAT class in Kingwood yesterday, and I'll soon be
picking up another--here comes that busy schedule again.
(But busy schedule = more money, so I don't mind at all. Also,
I'm much more likely to feel sluggish and depressed when I have nothing
to do (e.g., today).)
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| | Posted 8/28/2005 11:36 PM - 16 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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